why cant i get over this relationship?? ive tried really hard but im constanly reminded of him..and seeing lillian heaps isnt helping either..i mean i can get over it if i want to..but im not letting myself..i dunno why..porlly coz he is associating himself with my friends and im not around..even lillians hanging out with them..garrggghhh and when i go out and stuff guys talk to me but its not the same anymore..there maybe someone who likes me in the future but im scared that i cant commit or trust anyone else after this whole wazza thing..i was having this conversation with a mate about it..he betrayed my trust and whatnot..and i think if i still hang onto him i cant get hurt by anyone else and i can live in denial thinking that it will all go away when im doing more damage to myself more than ever. i dunno what to do anymore..i wanna get away but i have uni commitments..so for now im stuck in a rut..i mean i got upset coz i wasnt invited to lani's 21st and he did..granted for the fact that im not as close to her..but i see her heaps on the bus and at easties..she had an opportunity to tell me about it and i wouldnt have gone if he was attending..but yeh im all over the place at the moment and i think ive kinda lost who i am as a person..
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samye) wrote,
confused
