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| so much for working on my project haha...yes i have returned my from days of not posting which i dont appear to be doing a lot these days..but the thing i love about this blog is that i can vent my feelings and get em off my chest..coz most of the time im either crying my eyes out or am just really really angry..but also ive been catching up with people from school which has been excellent..so much for not having a social life..it seems like i have one ever since me and warwick havent gotten together..well ive become a lot more involved with catching up with friends..just the other day myself, warwick, bec and ash went to go and see get smart at burwood..which was awesome i hadnt seen my home girls for agess and i really miss them..i dont think i could have made it through the year with wesley as well as getting together without them too..i am indebted to them..anyway nothing much hasnt been happening lately just been spending time with warwick since work has decided to not give me shifts during my uni holidays...so fucken mad about that..oh yeh theyve fucked up enrolments at uni so im heading in there tomorrow with ash to fix it up..gosh such a waste of time..so lifes been pretty slow and stuff..oh yeh my dance exam is also coming up in a few weeks im stressing abit about it..well just the fact i have to do an improv which i hate more than anything lolz..oh yeh and have been putting off my project stuff..i know naughty naughty but im thinking of deferring project but yeh i think im just procrastinating again and i shud just really do it...so i can get outta there asap...lolz in other news...boy news in particular..well everythings been going well with me and warwick..we have been together for like a month and 3 weeks which has surprised me more than anything espcecially with all the shit that has been happening the past few weeks. i dunno if many of u have heard what had happend but yeh...2 saturdays ago a bunch of us went out for drinks as kyras place had been sold..was real fun hanging out with sam, jaime, adrian, kyra and wazza..we decided to head home as wazza had his volleyball game the next day..me being smart suggested we walk down to george st to find a cab [at this time it was changed over 3am] but yeh as we were walking past brooklyn hotel who do we see sitting out the front..THE EX!! [imagine my fucking excitement lol] anywho he knew she was out and stuff and thought it was a total coincidence that we had seen her..plus he had never been to brooklyn before so it took him a bit off guard.. ok this part is how i saw it...we walked and he asked me to walk up the hill and wait..i did as i was told and he spoke to her for a bit..i sat down being angry upset and tired all in one then some guy comes up to me and says smile dont worry no need to be upset...im like thinking what the fuck whud u kno..then 10mins later wazza approaches me says "sorry about that some guy was hassling Lillian and i wanted to see if she was ok"..yeh alright i reply..then he goes "well she wants to meet you" and im like errmmmm ok...she comes up to me sticks her hand in my face and says "nice to meet you" in a bitchy tone..wazza then says to her "now thats not nice" she replies by saying "what do u want me to do get on my knees and beg" hes had enough of her shit and tells me to walk off and wait..at this time i was sooo fucken mad..i knew this was all gonna happen even from the time that i invited him to jaynes 21st and she callled him constantly which made him get back on a train from cronulla to bondi just coz she was worried!!! anywho i messaged adrian to see where he was..and i was like im fucken sick of this fucken bullshit always fucken leave me for lillian..this had happened before too..i went to his place and she calls going omg i need to speak to u blah blah and im like go whatever..he left to her rescue..i dont get anyway back to the story..lol so i walked back to the orient but no one was there so i headed to jacksons cursing my ass off and freezing my boobies off lol walking to jacksons where they didnt fucken let me in..was sooo mad adrian came down and the nice guy at the front let me in..aww..anyway i told him what happen..by this time i had received 4 missed calls from warwick..was soooo fucken mad at him..spend time in the bathroom crying made a new friend..to which sam saved me from her thanks..shes sooo lucky she doesnt have to deal with shit like that..then jai and kyra came in and i told them what had happend..then sat down for the rest of the night watched the girls dancing in the cage haha tho it reminded me of a prison cell rather than a cage..lol at this time warwick was waiting outside in the cold freezing and had dropped his wallet..i made him wait out in the cold for like half an hour i know im a bitch but i think he truly deserved it..but wait til u hear his side..lolz anyway headed downstairs and he told me what had happend he had said that he didnt want anything to do with lillian which made me happy more than anything in the world..coz the day before he had said to me that he wanted to be friends with her again.i was like wtf u have got to be kidding..i told bec about it and she gave him a little lecture about being friends with her and it being a bad idea coz then it will make her think in her fucked up brain that they will somehow be together again and ill be pushed aside..he also said that he didnt expect for any of that to happen a little naive on his part i mean i kno he wants us to be friends and shit but thats never gonna be happen if she wasnt stalking him and talking to about going to his place and having sex with him then yeh i woud wanna be her friend he also told her everything coz up until recently she had found out that we had been together and stuff..he said that i made him happy more than she ever did and that he woud pay back the money he owed to her and didnt want to have anything to do with her..he basically said everything i wanted to hear from him like a few weeks ago. ..sam and kyra wanted me to go back to their place..which i really wanted to but waza had no money and i felt like i needed this thing to be resolved or i would have spend the rest of the week upset and angry and single..so i ended up catching a cab back to his place. the taxi ride was soo unbearable i couldnt help but crying..i just wanted to go home to bed and cry myself to sleep..coz i always thought in the back of my mind..'yeh hes totall gonna go back to lillian coz she buys him everything and she said that she loved him and blah blah blah how can i compete with that??' but yeh that night i truly thought it was the end of our relationship coz ive tolerated the constant phonecalls and messages whenever im around but that was almost the final straw with me..but i knew she was gonna be that way with me..like he says shes just cut coz he moved on before she did after they broke up..but yeh from my point of view it really looked like he dropped me for her..i mean im still trying to get over it and it has been 2 weeks..but i try to not let it get to me and i start to not think about it as much..tho everytime i go to his place theres this pic of him and her on his wall of them doing the bridgeclimb and i dont get why its still there..whether or not he has forgotten about it i dunno..but when he first started dating it wasnt on the wall it was covered with the rest of his photos of her. anyway sorry i keep going off topic..i think its coz i have so much to say and i dont have a diary to write it in lolz..what was i going on about..oh yeh..his side of the story..ok he said that he didnt kno that he was gonna run into her of all nights and basically he saw some guy hassling her..he called out to her the guy got freaked and bailed..she once again wazza to her fucken rescue..anyway apparently she faked her name and when he said lillian the guy was spooked and left..then apparently had said to him oh yeh i dont need your help but then had the nerve to ask to catch a cab with wazza and myself..gosh so pathetic..he basically said it was his mistake and he regretted even stopping to see if she was ok..but he said it had nothing to do with their history his words were it was the humane thing to do and he wud have done the same thing if it were anyone of my other friends like ash etc..he said if he saw wat was happening and didnt do anything and had found out that something had happend he would have never forgiven himself..he said that he shudnt have introduced us and didnt kno she wud be so hostile toward me..and im like well yehh she wud be i mean im the replacement lolz and i asked him why did u ask me to walk away..his reply was well i didnt want u to see me that way...he was really angry apparently and was yelling which i heard some of..then when he didnt see him he got worried and lillian was following him around as he was looking for me to which he lost his wallet..fell outta his pocket but yeh..wat i wanted to hear was that he didnt wanna talk to her ever again..boy was i wrong.. ok now to more recent news..she had still been calling him and asked what has been doing and shit and all she does is burst into tears..like he was coming over to mine and she just cries over the phone fucken pathetic fool..seriously im sooo fucken sick of her shit..another incident she calls/messages him asking to do a big favour..he finds out it was only to download a stupid song...gosh the lengths she will go to..but this one is the best..last saturday he was out shopping and shes like did u get me anything..he goes wat are u on about? she goes well its almost our 2 yr anniversary..hes like we're not together anymore..then shes like oh how are my kids going [referring to the fish that she had bought him] gosh shes such as idiot..am i the only one who sees this..im really starting to get sick of her shit and it really is affecting my relationship with warwick i get soo mad at him sometimes coz all i can think about is that. [runs to check phone: an sms from warwick 'wat u doing'?] anyway yeh i found out that he cant really avoid her as much i would like him too..i mean they fucken have volleyball training together arggghh anyway i cant help that and i dont want him to stop it coz he was into it before we met..but yeh he conned her into not going after he saw her on the saturday but yeh stalker much..anywho saw warwick today yeh and he said that he was going to dinner with an old friend from nambucca and im cool as i usually say not really believing it..why i dunno coz he called me in the arvo saying he was going to dinner but didnt say who with..i dunno but ever since that thing with lillian i think i lost trust in him..i kno he really didnt do anything but i mean if u were in my position u wud have totally thought the same thing..maybe..but yeh i dunno her deal apparently she doesnt hate me she hates him..but i highly doubt that..oh yeh and get this shes like bff with graeme from so u think u can dance..and he was out at brooklyn that night..gosh of all the people why is he friends with her..haha well if i get on her good side ill make graeme my new bestie..i mean other than ashwie..lolz anyway i think i have vented more than enough but yeh i just needed to get it off my chest..any thoughts and input wud be very much appreciated but yeh im just taking it one day at a time..thank god i have the patience to tolerate such drama..haha | ||||||||||||||
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pissed off